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» Let’s Talk about Relationships

By Judith Pomerantz on July 22, 2014


“We need silence to be able to touch other souls.” – Mother Teresa

Let’s talk about relationships.

Unless we are a hermit by nature, we want and need relationships to be fulfilled. They are an important medium through which we express our feelings and expand our territory of influence.

The core of this conversation is that every woman has a reciprocal relationship with her environment—with everything and everyone in it. It is a law of nature that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. We might say, as you sow, so shall you reap, or what goes around comes around. So when we create an influence of happiness or fear or anger or love—that influence inevitably returns to us.

There are tens of thousands of articles and books written on how to have successful happy relationships.  Mostare oriented toward perspective, behavior, and outward means of determining what is best for both you and the other person(s) in the relationship. Most advice is sensible, even obvious, and some is questionable. Some information is based on data, some on introspection, some on religious doctrine, and some on theory. But even advice that we are sure is good may be hard to follow if we are too tired, too stressed, too upset, too anxious, too defensive, too busy—and so on.

The most effective method of improving our relationships with others, is to improve our self. We create an influence through our behavior, so to improve the inner quality of our life by reducing our stress, cultivating calmness, patience, curiosity, by taking care of our health, and increasing our intelligence would be a good basis for improving our relationships

When two people come together in a relationship and are full of fear—perhaps based on past wounds—each might worry if the other person judges them. Each might wonder what they will get, how they will be treated, and if they are safe. In this case we are starting from a place of “fill me” and “give me” rather than spontaneously overflowing with generosity and love—unencumbered and unqualified love.

Rich and meaningful relationships are based on caring behavior, which is based on the principle of giving, but we can only give what we have. A 150 watt bulb provides more light than a 50 watt bulb can provide. How do we grow from 50 to 150 watts?

The Transcendental Meditation technique opens our awareness to an inner reservoir of serenity—we become calm, centered and more at ease—even in the midst of a hectic demanding day. TM reduces stress and expands awareness so we become more alert to the needs of others as well as ourselves. It quiets the mind so we can listen better. It reduces anxiety and lets the heart flow so that we can be more generous and nurturing.

It is often women who unify, who offer compromise, who create amity and peace. To create the most happy harmonious union with her family, friends, and associates, a woman must draw from the infinite source of life—the unified field of infinite silent potential—at the deepest level of her mind.

Scientific research shows that TM practice improves tolerance, perception of others, happiness, social function, good will, self-reliance, moral behavior and positive values.

At her essence, a woman is an ocean of peace and fullness. She is capable of great generosity when the boundaries to her awareness are transcended. Go ahead and talk things out, listen, break some entrenched habits of argument, put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and don’t waste time trying to prove that you are the one who is right. Practice gracious behavior, but first establish a solid foundation for it by unfolding your inner potential.



About the author
Judith Pomerantz, MSW, LICSW is a therapist in Massachusetts